


No Better Time for a Romance Than the End of the World

by CripplingSelfDoubtWithAKeyboard



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, Guide Powers, M/M, Sentinel/Guide Bonding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-03-23
Packaged: 2018-01-11 14:20:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CripplingSelfDoubtWithAKeyboard/pseuds/CripplingSelfDoubtWithAKeyboard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raleigh is a Guide who lost his brother to a Kaiju. Now The Marshal is trying to pull him back into a conn-pod with some new Sentinel. </p><p>not to mention there's this Australian asshole giving him a hard time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this story is complete guys, I just got to get it all typed up and posted. Also, I'm still trying to see how I like to write my Sentinels and guides so bare with me. 
> 
> Still trying to suss out my formatting.
> 
>  

“ _Raleigh listen to me-”_

_Knifehead's enraged roaring fills the connpod, drowning out the screams._

_His screams... Yancy's screams.. Yancy..._

 

**~**

Raleigh Becket stared down at his soggy cereal, no longer hungry. The gritty, bitter flakes were the best food the Wall had to offer, but Raleigh found himself unable to stomach them this morning. Above him, a reporter listed off the estimated number of causalities and missing persons like she was reciting her grocery list. 

“The decommissioned Jaegar Striker Eureka thankfully put it down before further damage could be done.” 

Footage of said Jaegar played, and mummers broke out amongst the breakfast crowd. Raleigh grabbed his hard hat and stood, turning his back to the television, the voice of one of the Jaegar's pilots trailing after him. 

Raleigh liked working high up on the Wall. It was cold, sure, and the thin Oxygen gave him nosebleeds every now and then, but it was isolated and no one bothered him. It was off the Wall where the problems lied, where everyone moved in big groups, shoulders bumping and thoughts jumbling in with loud, obnoxious noises. 

Unbonded Sentinels and Guides were rarely found on the Wall. The sounds and sensations and emotions could easily overwhelm any unbonded. But Raleigh handled it fairly well, for an unbonded Guide. He just hung back on the Wall long after the work day was over, heading back to his quarters once the crowds had passed. If he was a Sentinel things would be a lot harder to handle. 

Luckily, five years was a long time to perfect his tactics. Five years spent out of a Jaegar, away from other Guides and sentinels. Things were going good... Until Marshal Stacker Pentecost found him. 

 

Raleigh stopped short, recognizing the presence of a Sentinel immediately. And the Marshal was quite a Sentinel. Strong and stern, with broad shoulders and impeccable posture, he practically demanded respect. Time had not changed him much, which is more than Raleigh could say for himself. He had to ignore the urge to stand at attention. 

“Mr. Becket.” Pentecost greeted formally. Raleigh inclined his head politely, leaning against a nearby wall. 

“Marshal. Come to join the wall?” 

He knew better, truthfully. The Marshal was a fighter to his very core. 

“No. I've come for you.” Pentecost stated, to the point. Raleigh smiled bitterly, “For what?” 

“There's a Jaegar, Mark-3, needs a pilot.” 

“I can't get back into a Jaegar.”Raleigh looked away, “I can't have anyone else in my head again.”

The Marshal studied him with those sharp eyes of his. Faintly, Raleigh could just sense his need and desperation without concentrating. He was sure the Sentinel was letting him sense it purposefully. The Marshal was never one to allow himself to seem weak unless it served a purpose. 

“Do you watch the news, Mr. Becket?” 

“I try not to, sir.” It was all death and destruction, and the suffering made him nauseous. 

“Then you must be unaware of the Jaegar Program's current situation.” 

Raleigh eyes him suspiciously. 

“We've been decommissioned.” The Marshal stated, “They're putting us out of business.”

Raleigh's stomach dropped. “What? Can they do that?!” 

“They can and have. Apparently this Wall of yours appears to be a better investment.” The disdain in his voice was unmistakable. “We now have eight months in the least before the chance to end this is lost. We need every able pilot in every available Jaegar in order to bring out best fight to the breach.”

Raleigh frowned, “A suicide mission.” 

“A chance to fight back. To finish this.” 

_'It'll never be over'_ Raleigh thought bitterly, but didn't dare say it out loud. 

Pentecost considered him. “We're all going to die, Mr. Becket, that much is true. Where would you like to die? Here? Or in a Jaegar?”

His voice ran through the hall. Raleigh met his intent gaze. 

 

**~**

The Shatterdome was actually full of people. This presented Raleigh with a problem. His shielding had never been the best, and since Knifehead it was practically nonexistent. He managed well enough from a distance, as long as he avoided concentrating on one person's thoughts too much. But when it came to contact...

And when it came to Drifting with someone again...

Raleigh felt queasy, and he seriously doubted it was because of the helicopter ride over. 

“Our two leading scientists.” Pentecost said, gesturing at two men who seemed to be bickering, “Doctors Newton Geiszler and Hermann Gottlieb.”

Raleigh watched as they continued to bicker, oblivious to his presence. He wasn't quite sure what all the fuss was about, but he did catch the word 'entrails' once or twice.

“Gentlemen.” The Marshal said, voice sharp. The two scientists fell silent. “This is Raleigh Becket.”

The wiry one with the tattoos blinked,”oh- You're that pilot who quit after-”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Becket.” The other scientist cut in, offering a hand which Raleigh politely declined. The scientist stiffened but kept his polite aura, “You'll have to excuse my college Newton here, he's an idiot.”

The insult was delivered so swiftly Raleigh nearly missed it, but the Doctor Newton certainly didn't.

“Newt.” He corrected peevishly, “And you'll have to excuse _Hermann,_ he's got a stick shoved up his a-”

“Oh, I have a stick- Well, at least I have some shred of professionalism, unlike _you,_ you bumbling-”

“Nice to meet both of you.” Raleigh interrupted before they could go on, “I'm sure I'll see you two around.”

He followed after the Marshal, the sound of the pair arguing picking back up as he turned away. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to see too much of the pair. The amount of frustration they emitted together was impossible to ignore, and Doctor Newton practically buzzed with energy and thoughts, making Raleigh feel sick.

Normally, Raleigh would assume both scientists were Sentinels, as aggressive as they were with each other, but with the amount of interference they put out with their fighting he couldn't get a clear signal from either.

 

Next the Marshal showed him the training room, where he would fight with his fellow soldiers; the place where he would be eating, which was a special sort of Hell for Raleigh; And of course,The Local Command Center, where they monitored the Jaegars and any new Kaiju activity.

Through the glass window over-looking the hanger, Raleigh could see three Jaegars.

“Most of the Jaegars are gone.” Pentecost informed him, “But we still have these.”

Raleigh stepped forward, admiring their metallic silhouettes.

“That one on the left is Cherno Alpha.”

Raleigh admired the bulky thing. It looked fierce.

“Then we have the Crimson Typhoon.” The name suited it, the Jaegar a dark red that gleamed. “And then there's-”

“The Striker Eureka.” Raleigh finished. The Mark-5 Jaegar shined coldly in the bright florescent lights of the hanger. It looked as if it had never seen a battle, but Raleigh knew better. He'd seen Striker fight.

“Raleigh? Raleigh Becket?” A familiar voice called. Raleigh turned just in time just as a grinning Tendo Choi approached, looking like he was going in for a hug. Raleigh returned the grin, but stepped back to avoid the hug.

Tendo took it in stride, “Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes!”

“Tendo! It's been a long time.”

“Too long, my man.” He handed Raleigh a donut, “I'm guessing you're just dying to see what we've done with your baby?”

Raleigh tasted the donut cautiously, “My baby?”

“Gipsy.” Tendo said, “Don't worry, we've been real good to her.”

He stretched out the word real, winking. Raleigh's heart pounded.

Gipsy? Their Jaegar? Here?

“Can- Can I see it?”

Tendo looked to the Marshal for permission.

Pentecost relented.“Mr. Choi can show you to her.”

 

Tendo grinned, “Follow me, your lady awaits.”

 

**~**

 

 

Raleigh couldn't breath. There she was, as new and shiny as the first day he saw her. Gipsy Danger.

His Jaegar. _Theirs_.

Every time he blinked he expected to see a gaping hole in her head, hear screams.

“Isn't she great?” Tendo asked, propping himself onto a ledge,”Fully restored.”

“She looks brand new.” Raleigh admitted.

“I personally oversaw her progress.”

Raleigh focused on breathing. He was filled with happiness and fear and he didn't know which emotion out weighed the other. The idea of getting back into a Jaegar was thrilling. The idea of getting into one without Yancy was terrifying.

“You'll do fine man.” Tendo encouraged, smiling. Raleigh glanced at him uncertainly.

Tendo was a Guide. Unbonded, like him.

“Once you're back in that connpod you'll see. It won't matter who your copilot is. As long as you're compatible.” He hopped off the ledge, flashing a smile,

“You just let the Jaegar do all the work. She'll handle everything for you.”

 

Raleigh hoped he was right.

 

Eventually, Tendo left him to go attend to whatever important business Pentecost had him doing. Raleigh was alone. For a few minutes, at least.

He felt the presence of a Guide and Sentinel. Casually, he glanced over.

A man the size of a mountain nodded a greeting, a woman who looked just as fierce, if not more, stood beside him. They both had a shock of white hair, cut short, as was military custom. The woman smiled, all teeth.

“Nice ride.” She commented, voice heavy with a Russian accent.

Raleigh smiled uneasily, “Thanks.”

He could feel the couple emphatically, clearer than he had felt Tendo, or even Pentecost.

 _'Bonded...'_ He thought, feeling the difference for real now. Bonded pairs did tend to be easier to sense, a neon sign really, but it was impossibly hard to discern who was the Sentinel and who was the Guide. And who was having which emotion, at that.

“What does she have, a double nuclear core?” The woman asked, clearly the talker in the relationship. Raleigh nodded.

“And a solid iron hull, forty acres of blades muscle span with a new fluid system.”

Raleigh couldn't keep the pride from his voice, though he tried.

The woman glanced at her silent companion, smiling some secret smile, “Nice indeed.” 

“I am Sasha.” She stated, nodding over to the man,”This is Aleksis.” 

“He doesn't talk much.” Raleigh noted, eying the mound of muscle and body hair that was apparently man. 

“He's deciding if he likes you.” Sasha clarified.

“And if he decides that he doesn't?”

Sasha shrugged, smiling that smile of hers. Raleigh felt like a gazelle, and this was his lion. “You'll know.” 

Raleigh tried not to show fear. Stubbornly, he stared the mountain named Aleksis in the face. 

Sasha stepped forward, “What's your name, мальчик?” 

“Raleigh.” He stated, “Becket.”

“I will be glad to have you fight on my side, Raleigh Becket.” She said. Raleigh nodded respectfully.

“As I will you.” 

Sasha and Aleksis left him then. Raleigh had the impression that he had passed some kind of test. 

 

**~**

 

Raleigh clutched his tray tight, determined to conquer the evil that was the dining hall. Hundreds of soldiers, engineers, scientists, technicians- They all crowded in at set times to consume their rationed amount of food. And Raleigh was crowded in there with them, forced to keep up with the massive amount of people or go hungry. 

The trick was really to avoid physical contact. If he could do that, blocking out the thoughts would be easy. But avoiding physical contact was a lot harder than one would think. Especially seeing as every person in the Shatterdome seemed determined to bump him or slide up against him or shake his hand. At times like these, he missed the Wall.

“Raleigh, over here!” 

Raleigh turned to see a familiar looking man waving him over, “Sit with us.” 

His voice, thick with an Australian accent, was stern and indisputable. Raleigh walked over without question. 

“You probably don't remember me.” The older man said. He was right. “Herc Hansen.” 

Again Raleigh avoided a handshake, instead examining his food. Herc Hansen, who was definitely a Guide- Raleigh could feel his presence in the air- studied him. 

“We fought alongside each other once.” 

Raleigh snapped his fingers as he remembered, “Oh, right- Manila. I remember.” 

“Hell of a beast that Kaiju was.” Herc grinned. His smile dropped suddenly though as he leaned close over the table, “I'm sorry about your brother.” 

Raleigh inclined his head, “Thank you.”

“A great ranger.” 

“He died doing what he loved.” Raleigh muttered, well used to this topic by now. 

“Aye. And soon every ranger who's died going up against these bastards can rest easy once we've nicked them.” Herc Hansen said, determined. Raleigh smiled weakly. “Yeah...”

Then something wet touched his knee, causing him to jump.

“Max.” Another voice with an Australian accent called, and the bulldog that hand been drooling heavily on Raleigh's shoes trotted off on short, stubby legs. 

Raleigh watched as the dog stopped at another pair of feet, apparently belonging to his owner. 

His owner who was currently scowling at him, tray in hand. 

He was definitely a Sentinel, that much Raleigh knew. He could feel the young man's chaotic alertness. See the way he twitched ever-so-slightly. 

“Raleigh, that's my son and copilot, Chuck.” Herc introduced, voice weary. Raleigh nodded a greeting, only to be ignored. 

The Sentinel sat down beside his father, purposefully not sparing Raleigh even a second's glance. 

Raleigh had to work hard on staying seated. The Sentinel's rage was practically pelting him and his crap shields, tangled with the distinct feel of disgust. Whatever he had done, he had pissed this guy off. 

The force of it all was nearly enough to make him run away. 

But, he stayed put, and met Chuck Hansen's glare with his own. Granted, his was a bit weaker. 

“So, this is old Pentecost's last resort?” The younger Hansen drawled, eying him like something stuck on his shoe, “A washed up has-been?” 

“Chuck.” Herc said sternly, but was ignored. Raleigh winced as the Sentinel's anger sharpened, destructive. 

“What? Not like he's going to do anything about it. He's no fighter.” He narrowed his eyes at him, “He's a coward.” 

Raleigh shook his head, standing. Chuck watched him expectantly. Did he think Raleigh was going to hit him? It was true that he was tempted. 

Herc placed a hand on Chuck's shoulder, and Raleigh noticed that the edge disappeared from his anger, making it easier to bear. 

But Chuck shrugged away, glaring resolutely at Raleigh. 

Raleigh simply turned and walked away. 

 

Chuck's voice called after him. 

“Yeah, that's it _Raleigh_ ,” He slurred his name, “Do what you're best at! Run away!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> мальчик - boy


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MAKOOOO  
> and more Chuck, obviously. 
> 
> Lots more...

“She is very beautiful.” A young girl commented, following his gaze to stare at the Gipsy Danger towering over them.

“She is.” Raleigh agreed.

“You must be very excited to pilot her again.”

He sighed, shifting to face her, “Must be.”

He smiled. She eyed him closely, blue bangs framing her face.

Then she offered him her hand. “Mako Mori.”

Raleigh smile apologetically, “Sorry- I don't really like touching.”

“That's strange, seeing as you're a Guide.”

“Is it? I didn't notice.”

She smiled slightly, dropping her hand. “Perhaps it has to do with some emotional trauma you experienced in your past?”

By the way her eyes gleamed, head tilting oh-so-slightly, Raleigh could tell she knew all about his 'emotional trauma'.

“Did Pentecost send me a therapist?”

She smiled, “No, Mr. Becket, he didn't. I'm only curious.”

“Well, Miss Mori, I'm tired now.” He stood, stepping to get around her, “If you'll excuse me.”

 

Mako Mori let him go, watching him leave with knowing eyes.

 

**~**

 

The Jaegar hanger was slowly becoming Raleigh's favorite place in the Shatterdome.

It had this amazing way of being so loud and yet at the same time so incredibly quiet, and none of the engineers cared to shake his hand or engage him in small talk. Each one was busy at work, completely engrossed in the task at hand.

It was a refuge.

Raleigh preferred to hang near his Gipsy, but every now and then he went touring. The other Jaegars were extraordinary, but Striker Eureka was probably his favorite- second to Gipsy Danger, of course. It had a sharp look about it that promised it packed just as much punch as it looked like it did. Strange that he had met the pilots only days ago.

Herc and Chuck Hansen... At the time they had appeared to be a typical father and son.

But there was no denying that Chuck was a Sentinel. And an Unbonded, unchecked Sentinel would never be allowed to step foot into a drivesuit, let alone an actual Jaegar. He'd be too unstable, too at risk to himself and his drift partner.

But Herc Hansen had been a Guide...

It was possible, and quite often the case, for Guides and Sentinels with platonic Bonds to pilot together. That's what Raleigh and Yancy did.

A platonic Bond was weaker than an actual one, but a hell of a lot easier to create- And break, if need be.

Raleigh hadn't sensed it at the time, but now, looking back, it only made sense...

A clashing sound brought Raleigh out of his reverie. Some engineer cursed as his power tool, still turned on, crashed to the ground from where he stood on a raised platform.

Raleigh watched, amused, as it clattered and bounced about, while the worker tried to get it without loosing an arm.

He was just about to go help when he received what felt like an empathetic slap to the face. It made his breath catch, the impact of pain and anger hitting him all at once.

 ' _LOUDPAINLOUD'_

Raleigh staggered, trying to reign in his empathy. A Sentinel- and it was definitely a Sentinel if it could call out to him so clearly- was suffering.

He couldn't think, for a moment the Sentinel's pain was his own, every vibration of the power tool a blow to the head. If he could only find the Sentinel maybe he could help-

 ' _ **LOUDTOOLOUD**_ _'_

“Turn it off!” Raleigh yelled, moving forward on clumsy feet, “Make it stop!”

With his encouragement the worker got some extra help and finally wrangled in his rouge tool.

The Sentinel's pain subsided. But Raleigh knew something wasn't right. Could _feel_ it.

 ' _He's going to zone.'_

Raleigh glanced around, hoping to see the Sentinel, doubled over, or perhaps already limp and overwhelmed by his senses. He walked briskly around the hanger, determined to help-

When he crashed into someone.

“Fucking Christ.” A familiar Australian accent slurred.

Raleigh blinked at Chuck, a Sentinel, who he had somehow managed to catch off guard _and_ knock down. “Sorry.” He blurted.

Chuck blinked a few times, seeming to struggle with focusing his eyes on Raleigh. Once he finally did though, the scowl from before returned, and he stood gracefully.

“Watch yourself Becket, this isn't some place to be running around like an idiot.”

Raleigh frowned at him. ' _It was him. He's who I felt..._ '

Chuck snapped his fingers in front of Raleigh's face, “Hello? Oi, I'm serious has-been. There are fucking power tools around here.”

Raleigh blinked, “Oh- Right. Sorry.”

“Why don't you run along and let us _real_ pilots do some _real_ work, yeah?” He winked, shoving past.

Raleigh watched after him, fairly sure a Sentinel on the edge of a zone wouldn't be able to apply that much condescension to his voice.

Still, he was the one Raleigh had felt. Raleigh was sure.

Maybe he brought himself back down- Or perhaps Raleigh had jogged him out of it when he ran into him?

Whatever the case, Raleigh still wasn't sure how he felt about rushing to the aid of Chuck Hansen, of all people.

 

**~**

 

“Watch it!”

Raleigh ducked as a basketball soared over his head, smacking into the nearest wall. Someone was there to catch it as it bounced off, moving with obvious Sentinel speed. He tossed it to another guy with brutal force...Another guy that looked just like him.

“Gotta be careful where you walk around here.” A third said, coming to stand beside Raleigh. He too was an exact copy. Raleigh laughed.

“You guys must be the Weis.”

“Yep.” The one holding the ball said.

“Give the guy a prize!” The other proclaimed. The one standing next to him smirked,

“And you're Raleigh.”

Raleigh shrugged, “Caught me.”

“Hu.” The one next to him said, pointing at one of the brothers, “Jin.”

“And I'm Cheung.”

“Give you my pudding for a month if you can remember whos who.” Jin quipped.

“I'd like to see him try.” Hu commented, dribbling the ball.

Raleigh doubted he could do that without branding each individual guy first.

Though there was a chance he could remember Cheung. The man was obviously a Guide, unlike his Sentinel brothers. The other two were more of a challenge.

“So is it true you've been out for five years?” Cheung asked. Raleigh nodded.

“Five years- _wow_.” Jin muttered.

“Still remember how to fight?” Hu asked.

“Not something I can forget how to do.” Raleigh answered calmly.

“Eh.”

“Fair enough.”

“Hu- Over here!”

The two Sentinels were off, playing a very aggressive game of catch. Cheung grinned at him, “Well, Raleigh, catch you later.” He patted his shoulder, then was off after his brothers.

 

**~**

 

The med bay had a multitude of Bonded Guides at the ready to assist any Sentinel in need. Be it that they we're experiencing sensory chaos, or becoming testy from having to share their 'territory' for too long. Sentinels were not designed for this kind of cramped, military lifestyle.

In worst cases they were there to calm down a Sentinel going into a full on frenzy, if their Guide had been harmed or, even, killed.

Usually, it would take over at least three guides to subdue a Sentinel after their Guide had been harmed. If their Guide was killed, however... Well, it wasn't pretty.

If Chuck Hansen had been in risk of slipping into a zone, he would of come here.

 

Of course, his father could have easily assisted, but the fact that he hadn't kicked down the door to the hanger after sensing his son's pain showed just how weak their bond was. And if Chuck and his father weren't on the best of terms bond-wise, then it was unlikely a proud guy like Chuck would ask his father for help.

Now, the fact that Raleigh was concerning himself with the younger Hansen at all was ,of course, ridiculous.

But he _was_ a Sentinel. And he was suffering- Or at least had been. And Raleigh was a Guide. He was designed to care for Sentinels in need, and no amount of past trauma or years hiding away would change that. And he had connected with Chuck, however briefly. He had felt his pain as his own. If he wanted to get any peace of mind he'd have to satisfy the Guide in him by ensuring that Chuck was, in fact, not still teetering on the edge of a zone.

“Can I help you, Guide?” One of the helper Guides asked, a woman. She smiled politely, and Raleigh could feel her strong presence reaching out at him. “Are you here to volunteer?”

“Oh- No. No.” Raleigh said quickly, shaking his head, “No- I'm good. Actually, I was looking for a Sentinel.”

“We get many Sentinels here, sir.” The female Guide reminded him patiently.

Raleigh blinked,”Oh, right. Well, he's Australian. Really angry. Always frowning.”

“Ah. Yes, that Sentinel is still here.”

“He is?” Raleigh looked as she pointed.

“Over there.”

“Oh shit.”

The Guide raised an eyebrow at him. Raleigh flushed, “I mean- Good. Great.” He laughed weakly.

“I guess I'll go talk to him, then. Thank you.”

 _'I can't go_ _**talk** _ _to him!!!'_

He shuffled away, aware of the Guide's eyes on him.

Raleigh tried not to panic. It was obvious the Sentinel hated him, how would he respond to Raleigh prying in his business? Slim chance he'd be happy about it...

Raleigh took temporary refuge behind a thin divider curtain, watching. What was he doing anyway? A Sentinel comes to the med bay for immediate relief, yet chuck was simply watching the Guides. He had a deep frown set on his face, his eyes flickering from Guide to Guide.

  _'He's trying to decide who to ask for help.'_

That was amusing, the thought of Chuck Hansen asking for help.

“If you really want to know who'll be the most help, you should try touching them- Or, you know, actually talking to them for starters.”

Chuck jumped, once again caught off guard by a Guide. Raleigh could feel that he wasn't happy about that.

“Piss off, Becket.” He snapped, “Wait- Are you following me?”

Raleigh shifted, “Don't flatter yourself. I just noticed you..Having a little trouble, is all.”

“So you just happened to be visiting the med bay at the same time as me, huh?”

Raleigh glared, “Yes.”

“Why would you need to come to the med bay?” Chuck scowled, “Don't tell me you're here to _volunteer_?”

“No- _No_. I was just, walking around- Jesus I don't need to justify myself to you.”

“Well I don't need any help from the likes of you, thanks.” Chuck turned away pointedly, “Now fuck off.”

“Oh please- After that kind of sensory confusion you need all the help you can get.”

Chuck tensed marginally, “What are you talking about? What sensory confusion?”

Raleigh rolled his eyes, “The sensory confusion in the hanger, dumb ass.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Bullshit.”

The Sentinel seethed, spinning to face him, “So I lost control for an instant, that doesn't mean I need _your_ help. I'm fine.”

“A spike that size is too major to brush off. You are going to relapse.” Raleigh pressed.

“So what if I do?” Chuck hissed, taking a step forward. Raleigh promptly took a step back. “I don't see how this has anything to do with you.”

Raleigh glared. “Jesus- Why do you have to be so stubborn? Why can't you just let me help you?”

“Because I don't want someone like you anywhere near me. And I sure as hell don't want your concern.”

“Someone like me?”

“A coward who turned his back on the world for five fucking _years_!”

Raleigh opened his mouth to defend himself but was interrupted by another helper Guide. Chuck looked about ready to obliterate the guy. Raleigh was about ready to do the same.

“Excuse me-”

“ _What_?!” Chuck growled.

“You two need to take this somewhere else. This is a place of healing.”

Chuck stepped forward, “Look, why don't you go take that little stethoscope of yours and shove it right up your tight little-”

“Come on.” Raleigh ordered, walking towards the door.

“Hey- I ain't finished with you, Becket!”

 

Luckily, Chuck followed.

 

Raleigh spun on him as soon as they were safely away from the med bay, “You think I just walked away? My brother _died_ and I _felt_ it.”

“You think you're the only one who's lost someone?” Chuck was crowding into his space, “Is your head _that_   far stuck up your ass? We've _all_ lost someone.”

Raleigh tried and failed to get a word in.

“And more people will be lost as long as these things exist. That's why as a _ranger,_ you should be trying to stop this- Not hiding away somewhere in fucking _Alaska_!”

“I came back.” Raleigh pointed out, keeping his voice level.

Chuck sneered. “What a fucking hero. Why don't you go back to the Wall? We don't need you. There are plenty of rookies who can do what you do. Maybe even better than you.”

Raleigh's jaw clenched.

“You know what, Hansen? You need me. Your ass needs covering when you go for the breach. And that just _kills_ you, doesn't it? That you have to depend on a washed up has-been like _me_.”

Chuck opened his mouth. Raleigh cut him off.

“Well too bad. Try being an adult and get over it.” He turned, “And as for that sensory confusion- You deserve everything that's coming to you.”

 

He turned away, feeling the Sentinel's anger pounding on his defenses, making it hard to breath.

A hand grabbed his wrist. ' _ **NOWAITSTAY.'**_

The air left Raleigh's lungs in a loud 'oopf '.

The Sentinel's consciousness slipped into his and for a moment all he could do is stand there and feel.

And then-

  _ **'NO'**_

Chuck stumbled back, eyes dazed, reeling from the empathetic kick he had just received. Recovering, Raleigh ran.

 

**~**

That night he dreamed the dream again.

Yancy, Knifehead, falling into the snow...

He woke shaking. The last person he had connected with that deeply on an empathetic level had been Yancy.

And Yancy was gone.

The days events had shaken Raleigh. He fought hard not to reflect on the things he had seen in Chuck- It was beyond an invasion of privacy to go dwell on that. It was wrong, and more importantly, remembering the force of those emotions was enough to make Raleigh throw up. Again.

He'd already puked up everything he'd had in the past week, God knows he needed to keep something down.

 

A knock on the door made Raleigh flinch. Shivering, he answered it, peeking out.

“Hello.” Cheung Wei grinned, waving. Raleigh blinked.

“What?”

“I've been sent to help you.” Cheung supplied, pushing his way inside Raleigh's room.

“Help me? With what? By who?”

“Raleigh the med bay has been getting calls.” Cheung said seriously, “Don't you know you're projecting?”

“Pro...Jecting? What?” Raleigh shook his head, watching helplessly as Cheung looked around his room.

“It's cool- Unbonded Guides often do. Accidentally. She's pretty.” He grinned, picking up a picture Raleigh had sitting on his desk.

“That's my sister.” Raleigh said shortly, snatching it away.

“Look, just let me reign you in so we all can get some sleep, K?” He moved forward and Raleigh jerked back as he reached for his face.

“No.” He shook his head, “No touching.”

Cheung huffed a laugh, “I know your shields are crap but I can use mine to-”

“No.” Raleigh repeated, jaw clenched. Cheung sighed, dropping his hands.

“Diva. Fine. Sit down.”

Raleigh eyed him suspiciously. Cheung rolled his eyes, “If I can't touch you then I'll have to do things the long way, so stop being difficult and sit down.”

Raleigh obliged, lowering himself back onto his bed. Cheung smiled.

“Good. Now, close your eyes.”

“What does this have to do w-”

“Ah! Don't question sensei, okay grasshopper? Eyes closed.”

Raleigh closed his eyes, huffing. “Now, feel the space around you. Not with your hands, but with your spirit.”

Raleigh tried to keep his skepticism off his face. He failed.

“I know it sounds corny but you asked for this, so shut up and feel.”

Raleigh tried focusing on 'feeling' the room. “Feel that? Our emotions hanging in the air?”

“Yeah...A little.” Raleigh muttered, furrowing his eyebrows in concentration.

“Now, feel yourself stretch out, spreading out to fill everything. Pushing past the door...Out into the hall...”

 

“Now, pull yourself back in.” Cheung commanded.

“Slowly- Easy, before you give yourself whiplash. Just, take your time.” He cautioned,

“Back, back... All the way back into your body. To the very, exact center.”

Raleigh felt a huge relief. He exhaled. Cheung clapped his hands together.

“Good- now that that's handled.” Raleigh watched as he headed towards the door.

“Uh-Thanks.”

Cheung shrugged lightly, “Don't mention it. Just let us other people get some sleep now, K Becket?”

 

And then he was gone. Raleigh sighed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako Mako Mako
> 
> Oh, and Chuck zones. Idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments/kudos  
> You guys are great xo

   The lunch at the Shatterdome was an improvement to lunch at the Wall. This time Raleigh didn't try sitting with Herc, but he did nod a polite greeting.  
   Chuck had yet to appear, which Raleigh thought was a blessing from God.  
   Even being around all the people was less of a hassle, now that he had some kind of tactic to avoid using his empathy.  
   It was looking like a good day.  
  
   And then Marshal Pentecost called him from the dining hall entrance, “Becket.”  
   “Sir?”  
   “With me.”  
   Raleigh didn't get to finish his lunch.  
   “Is there a problem,sir?” Raleigh asked, following the Marshal, who was walking at a brisk pace.  
   “Quite the opposite.”  
   Raleigh blinked. “Then- Why am I here?”  
   The Marshal came to a stop outside his office. The smile on the Sentinel's face made Raleigh's stomach drop.  
   “To meet your copilot.”  
   He opened his door and Raleigh nearly closed his eyes-  
   _'I can't have anyone in my head again-'_  
   “Hello again, Mr. Becket.”  
   Mako Mori smiled politely at him. Raleigh swallowed down panic- _'Pull yourself back in..'_  
   “Call me Raleigh.”  
   She nodded. Pentecost looked between them. “You've met. Good. That will make this all the easier.”  
   “Make what easier?”  
   “Bonding.”  
   Raleigh jumped, “What?!”  
   “Strictly platonic, Becket, no need to worry.”  
   “But- Why- Wait, you're a Sentinel?”  
   He looked at Mako again, searching for that chaotic feeling Unbonded Sentinels usually had.  
   “I am.” She answered.  
    Incredible. But he could see it now, the sharpness of the eyes, the restrained strength. She had to have amazing self control to not show up on Raleigh's empathetic radar.  
   “Which is why you two will have to form a platonic Bond in order to drift.” The Marshal said calmly, “Miss Mori here is a skilled fighter, an expert on all your fighting techniques, and is capable of exceptional self control for an Unbonded Sentinel.” Raleigh almost detected a tone of pride in the Marshal's voice.  
   “She should be able to balance out your- Problems.”  
   Raleigh stared at her. “Yeah...”  
   Once more Pentecost's eyes studied him. Then he turned to exchange words with Mako in Japanese. She nodded then came to stand next to Raleigh.  
   “You two are to form a platonic Bond.” The Marshal commanded, “ For the next few weeks I expect you to work together, eat together, practice together- Whatever it takes to make the Bond strong.”  
   Both Mako and Raleigh nodded. Then they were dismissed.  
  
~  
   “Favorite color?”  
   “Uh.. Red.”  
   “Favorite animal?”  
   Raleigh sighed, sitting up on his bed, “Come on, Mako, this is getting us nowhere.”  
   Mako frowned, lowering her clipboard, “Mr-” She sighed, “ _Raleigh_ , these questions were given to us in order to help move along the Bonding process.”  
   “It's stupid. How is knowing that I prefer cold weather over warm going to help us in the Drift?”  
   She opened her mouth but Raleigh cut her off, “It won't.”  
   Mako considered him. She reminded him eerily of the Marshal the way she looked at you, all knowing and calculating. “Fine.”  
   She sat her clipboard of horrible getting-to-know-you questions aside, crossing her legs where she sat on the floor. “What do you suggest we do?”  
   “Look, I've Drifted before. The only thing that's really going to matter is the important stuff. No one's gonna get caught in the memory of that one time I went to the zoo. Get me?”  
   Mako tilted her head slightly to the side, which seemed to be a habit of hers. “So, you're saying that we should focus on events that were a major point in our lives.”  
   “Exactly.”  
   “Like...A brother dying?” She asked, eyebrow raising.  
   Raleigh swallowed. “You know, I think I'm done for the day.”  
   Mako was on her feet in an instant. “Come _on_ Raleigh. You're going to have to tell me.”  
   “No, I really don't.” Raleigh snapped, “Go read an article about it, there were plenty.”  
   “You know I have to hear it from you.” She said quietly, voice gentle. Raleigh met her gaze. Her eyes were soft, but he could feel her curiosity, practically vibrating around him.  
   “It seemed like a regular deployment...” He murmured, shaking his head, “Our fifth kill.”  
   It was weird, talking aloud. He'd thought about Yancy's death thousands of times, but actually _saying_ it was like opening the old wound up again.  
   Still, Mako was watching silently, all fake patience when Raleigh could sense how hungry she was for this, so he forced himself to keep talking.  
   “The fight was going pretty good.” He smiled weakly, “We shot the damned thing and figured we were done.” He looked down, remembering.  
   “But he wasn't dead. The left side, my side, went dead first. The fucker ripped off Gipsy's arm like it was nothing.”  
   His body ached with phantom pain. “And after that breaking into the hull was easy. Yancy-”  
   His voice broke. He took a deep breath. “Yancy was ripped out. He tried to tell me something, but I couldn't- I didn't catch it, I didn't-”  
   Mako reached for him but he jerked away, shaking his head. “I was still connected to him. I- I felt him, I felt his fear, his hopelessness, and then- He was gone. I felt him die.”  
   Raleigh had not been aware the he was, in fact, crying, but now he broke down in sobs.  
   Mako hovered, unable to comfort but wanting to desperately. A Guide in distress would put any Sentinel on edge, even one so apt at self control as Mako.  
   Raleigh took a deep breath. “They never found his body...”  
   He wiped at his face, “That's the story.”  
   Mako sat beside him, tentative. “What about you?” He asked, huffing a weak laugh, “Got anything to top that?”  
   She smiled sadly, “That's enough for today, I think.”  
  
~  
   Mako took a bite out of his chocolate cake, grinning in a definitely taunting way.  
   “Thief!” Raleigh accused, which earned him a smile.  
   It had been a couple of days since Raleigh had recounted the events of Yancy's death. He'd be lying if he said that it hadn't brought them closer.  
   But still, a Bond was not as simple as being friends, or sharing a meal. It was a deep, tricky thing.  
   Raleigh and Yancy had come online together, it had only been natural for them to Bond.  
   Now Yancy was gone, and Raleigh didn't think it would be easy to replace him.  
   “So why do you have a girl's picture hidden away in you room?” Mako asked casually, eying him playfully. Raleigh rolled his eyes, “That's Jasmine, my sister.”  
   “Sister? Likely story.”  
   “Jealous?” Raleigh grinned, bumping her with his shoulder.   
   “Ew.” Raleigh laughed.  
   “What happened to her?” She asked, picking casually at his cake.  Raleigh sighed.  
   “We don't really talk anymore.”  
   “Why not?”  
   He shrugged, “After Yancy I didn't want to face her, I guess. Then we lost contact.”  
   Mako frowned, “That's terrible.”  
   “It is what it is.” Raleigh dismissed. Jaz was the last thing he wanted to talk about.  
   Luckily Mako didn't push him and had her attention redirected to the bulldog currently bounding towards her. “Max!”  
   She smiled, bending over to offer a pat to the slobbering animal. Raleigh looked up, expecting to see Chuck looming over them.  
   He did spot the Sentinel, standing awkwardly by the isle leading to their table, lunch tray in hand.  
   He seemed to be staring at Mako distastefully until he noticed Raleigh watching.  
   “Max.” He whistled lightly and the dog went prancing back. Together they walked off to find a table. Raleigh watched them, noting the tense set of Chuck's shoulders. He could almost catch the Sentinel's emotional vibe from across the room.  
   He didn't think that was a good thing.  
   “Raleigh?”  
   He jumped slightly, “Sorry...What?”  
   Mako's eyes narrowed, “What was that about?”  
   “What was what?” Raleigh asked innocently.  
   She frowned, “I'm not an empath, but that doesn't make me oblivious.”  
   “It's nothing. Me and Hansen just got into a tiny argument, is all.”  
   “He gets into arguments with everybody. Don't worry about it.”  
   “I'm not worried.”  
   And he wasn't. If anything he felt just the tiniest bit guilty about attacking the guy with his empathy. Even if he _had_ deserved it.  
  
~  
   “Soooo,” Raleigh sighed, tying his boots, “What Bonding activity shall we try today?”  
   He straightened, watching Mako lean against his door, smiling.  
   There was a familiar glimmer in her eye that filled Raleigh with both excitement and fear.  
   “I know that look.” He grinned, “What?”  
   “Fight me.” Mako said, smirking. Raleigh laughed.  
   “Yeah, right.”  
   Mako didn't even blink. Raleigh's brow furrowed, “Seriously?”  
   “Why not?”  
   “You're a Sentinel.”  
   She frowned, “I won't hurt you.”  
   “Well, no, you know I didn't mean it like that.” He huffed, “Don't you think it'll be just a little too easy for you?”  
   “Raleigh, how are we expected to battle Kaiju together if we've never seen each other fight?”  
   “Fine, fine.” He raised his hands in surrender, “Let's go fight.”  
   Mako smiled.  
  
~  
   Raleigh loosened his grip on the hanbo, watching as Mako got into her beginning stance. She smiled softly at him. He grinned.  
   The training room was mostly empty today, except for the Weis who were training at hand to hand and the tiny audience amassed to see them, which consisted of a few engineers on their breaks and the  Kaidenovskys. Sasha flashed him a hungry smile.  
   Ignoring the people, Raleigh got into position. He made the first move.  
   Mako easily deflected the stick moving in to land a killing blow to his head. Raleigh ducked out of the way just in time, bringing his hanbo around. It clanked loudly as it made contact with hers.  
   Mako tried for his side. He blocked.  
   Raleigh attempted to get a hit, swatting at her shoulder. She slapped it down.  
   Mako was fast, but true to her word. Everything she did was at normal human speed and strength. Raleigh could almost forget the fact that she was a Sentinel.  
   One misstep and Mako had him on the floor. “I win.”  
   Raleigh grinned up at her, “You're good.”  
   “And we are compatible.” She added, stepping aside as he pulled himself up. Raleigh noticed that she didn't bother offering him her hand.  
   “Pentecost might actually smile a proper smile at that.” Raleigh joked.  
  
   “Impressive.”  
   Both Guide and Sentinel turned to Chuck, who was clapping sarcastically in their direction.  
   “You can beat a Guide in combat.”  
   It was clear Chuck didn't find it all that impressive. Raleigh's jaw clenched.  
   “It was a fair fight, Hansen.”  
   Chuck regarded him for an instant before stepping past him, speaking directly to Mako.  
   “What do you say we have a go, huh? See how good you are against someone who can actually handle you.”  
   “Raleigh's a good fighter.” Mako said coolly, face giving away no trace of the anger Raleigh could feel.  
   “Oh sure, for a Guide.” Chuck dismissed, “But we both know that's nothing for a Sentinel.”  
   “Mako we should just go.” Raleigh urged. Something about the other Sentinel made him nervous. He felt dangerous, as if this was something personal.  
   “Oh, come on Becket, don't think your girl can take me?” Chuck taunted, smirking. He turned to Mako, “I'm thinking the same. So what's it gonna be, _Sentinel_?”  
   Briefly, Mako's eyes flickered to Raleigh.  
   “Yes.”  
   Raleigh fought the impulse to groan. He knew better to question Mako once she had become set on something.  
   Chuck's grin was predatory. “Stand back, _Ray_.”  
   He gave Raleigh a little shove into the side lines. He also took his hanbo, though Raleigh didn't notice him do it.  
   Sasha and Aleksis came to stand next to him. Sasha shook her head. “This will not be good.”  
   Raleigh couldn't help but agree.  
  
   Raleigh could feel the tension settle in the air as the two Sentinels got into fighting stances. This was more than just a fight, he could feel it. This was a Sentinel pissing contest.  
   Chuck made the first move. After that it was pretty hard to follow. Mako had been holding back during their fight, which now became painfully obvious. The two Sentinels now were a blur of bodies and swinging wood, the clacking of their two hanbos filling the training room.  
   Before Raleigh knew what was happening, Chuck had the tip of his stick positioned over Mako's head. A killing strike.  
   “One-Zero.” He panted, grinning.  
   Mako tensed marginally. Then they were at it again, blurred and growling.  
   A loud thump and Chuck was sprawled out on the floor, Mako's hanbo pressed against his chest.  
   He growled slightly.  
   “One-One.” Mako corrected, smirking.  
   All Raleigh was able to make out was Chuck slapping Mako's stick away and hopping back to his feet, then they were gone again.  
   This time it was a shorter wait before they froze, Mako's stick pressed lightly against Chuck's cheek. It was clear that the Sentinel was outraged, even without empathy.  
   “One-Two.”  
   Chuck grabbed at the Hanbo, giving it a violent yank and Mako lurched forward, dodging the wood flying at her before recovering her balance. She attempted a light swat at his back that was easily deflected.  
   They circled each other, hanbos poised to strike.  Mako's eyes watched Chuck wearily, while his darted to and fro, his grip on his stick tightening and loosing in short intervals. And then he moved, and Raleigh could hear him snarl as he went.  
   This time the impact of wood on wood was louder than before, more often, and Raleigh could hear a constant growling and snapping coming from the two fighters.  
   A loud thump and Mako was on her stomach, Chuck holding her arm behind her back.  
   “Two-Two.”  
   He smirked at Raleigh. Mako growled ever-so-slightly as he climbed off.  
   A bruise seemed to be forming on Chuck's cheek and both Sentinels were damp from sweat.  
   Instead of charging, Mako hung back, once again observing her opponent. From where Raleigh stood, the fight seemed evenly matched.  
   Both Mako and Chuck were fast and skilled, but Mako was graceful and patient, while Chuck seemed to be fierce and impulsive. A thrash first ask questions later kind of guy.  
   Chuck made a test swing at the air, grinned, and then charged.  
   Not a smart move.  
   Mako was ready, meeting him easily blow for blow. From what Raleigh could see, she appeared to be focusing on defense this time around, rather than attempt any killing strikes.  
   Chuck, however, was dishing out a flurry of hits, each aiming to break through her guard. Raleigh could feel his frustration as the match continued, his moves becoming more and more aggressive.  
   A particularly hard swing caused the two wooden sticks to clash together, the impact causing one to splinter slightly.  
   Raleigh could hear the wood crack from where he stood across the room, as well as see little chunks of wood fly between the two.  
   Chuck staggered backwards. Raleigh recognized a familiar sense of pain, more distinct than before, but there.  
   Mako sensed his moment of weakness like a shark senses blood, moving in to land a blow while the Sentinel's guard was down.  
   Raleigh was moving before he found his voice,  
   “Mako stop!”  
   The hanbo froze, inches away from the juncture of Chuck's neck.  
   Raleigh pushed it aside, grabbing Chuck by the shoulders.  
   “Raleigh-” Mako tried, plainly confused.  
   “He's zoned.” Raleigh explained, taking a deep breath.  
   _'Calm...'_ He reminded himself _'You have to be calm...'_  
   The Sentinel's eyes stared at nothing in particular, his face slack. Raleigh could sense his sensory confusion, too far gone to simply dial back.  
   Raleigh gritted his teeth, trying to mentally prepare himself for the onslaught of the Sentinel's feelings.  
   Then he touched his neck lightly.  
   Once again the sensation of all his air being snatched from his lungs overcame him, but he forced himself to swallow. Zones were very dangerous, which meant that he didn't have much time.  
   Finding his calm amongst the Sentinel's confusion was a challenge, but Raleigh managed. He focused on that sense of calm, stretched it, and kept stretching it to encompass the Sentinel.  
   “Chuck, If you can hear me, you need to dial it back, okay? Bring it back down."  
He gave his shoulder a squeeze, thinking as forcefully as he could manage _**'Focus.'**_  
The Sentinel inhaled sharply.  
   Raleigh's wave of calm, faint at first, now became stronger as the Sentinel began to regain some consicousness and project off some of his own. Raleigh attempted to direct that calm, to help the Sentinel use it to level out his senses.  
   It worked, as Raleigh began to feel Chuck's consciousness trickling back.  
   His head fell forwards, resting in the crook of Raleigh's neck.  
   "I told you this would happen." Raleigh murmured, thumb tracing lightly over the skin under his hand.  
   A slurred mumble was all he could make out, but Chuck's thoughts were clear.  
   _'Piss off.'_  
   Raleigh smiled.  
   "Chuck?" Herc Hansen rushed over, expression solemn, "Dammit kid."  
   There was an unspoken 'not again' hanging in the air.  
   He grabbed at Chuck's arm, turning him. Raleigh pulled his hand back. Chuck's thoughts receded, leaving behind an odd empty sensation.  
    Raleigh staggered, but Mako was there, steadying him with one hand on his back.  
   He smiled meekly.  
   Herc was now busy, hands holding his son's face, mouth moving as he spoke instructions. Slowly, Chuck's body began to regain some of his usual tension.  
   He blinked several times.  
   Herc asked him something quietly. Chuck nodded in return.  
   "Thanks." Herc said to Raleigh, ushering Chuck towards the door.

   "Yeah..." Raleigh mumbled, watching them go. 

   Mako tugged him away. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger-ish ending this time. Also, Mako tells Raleigh what's up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long guys! Sooo many complications this past week. 
> 
> Anyway, I posted this pretty fast so there's bound to be many, many typos and format problems. It doesn't help that Archive is not cooperating tonight. I'll make an attempt at getting another chapter to you this weekend, hopefully longer. 
> 
> We'll see~!

 Mako had been watching him all day.

 They had a movie in, but neither of them were really watching it. After the whole training incident the day before Raleigh had chimed he was tired and trudged off to his room.

 Now Mako was watching him thoughtfully, not even bothering to pretend to watch the movie.

  Raleigh shifted uncomfortably, beginning to feel unnerved.

  He paused the movie. "Well?"

 "You touched him."

 Ah. It made since. Sentinels as a whole were instinctively jealous in nature. And he was supposed to bond with Mako, even if it was just platonically.

 "He was zoned. Probably that last blow that did it- too loud."

 "You never touch anybody." Mako pressed.

  "Well, I sort of touched him before, so I knew what to expect."

  She raised her eyebrows.

  "On accident." He clarified. She wasn't satisfied, he could tell.

 "Will you touch me?" She asked, offering a hand.

  Raleigh's stomach twisted painfully.

 "Soon."

  Mako's hand dropped. He pressed play.

~

 Chuck didn't come to breakfast.

 Or lunch. Or dinner.

  Raleigh checked the med bay, the training room, and even dared to walk by his room one or two times. Or twenty.

 He felt like an idiot, looking for the Sentinel, but he was concerned.

  The Guide in him was, at least.

_' I'm just going to please my inner Guide. That's all...'_

 Well, that's what he told himself.

  In the end, he found him in the hanger, doing some work on his and his father's Jaegar.

  The Striker Eureka was nearly ready for battle, engineers scurrying to and fro to make last minute repairs. Chuck was standing on a platform about 25 feet or so off the ground, which made Raleigh shift uncomfortably. He shouldn't be around all the noise and commotion in the hanger, let alone suspended above the ground.

 Chuck sniffed the air and narrowed his eyes before he turned to look at him. "Becket?"

 Everything Raleigh had planned so carefully to say left him in a rush and all he could do was stare stupidly.

 "Uh-" He looked away, unable to make eye contact.

 Chuck put down his tools, wiping his hands on his cargo shorts. "Spit it out, we don't have all day."

 "I was just-" He gestured dumbly, "Watching."

 Chuck leveled him with a disbelieving look. "Watching?"

 "Yes. Watching."

_'Oh for fuck's sake'_

 Chuck sighed, climbing down the ladder leading up to his platform.

 "Look." He said, walking over to the Guide, "I'm not going to zone again, okay?"

 Raleigh, who was feeling better now that he was safe on the floor, squared his shoulders.

 "Are you sure because last time-"

 The Sentinel's jaw clenched.

 "I know what I said last time." He snapped.

 "Then you know that I can't really trust you to be truthful." Raleigh pointed out.

 "God- What do you want from me, Becket? I said I'm fine- Or do you want to take a peek in my head again?" He thrust his hand in Raleigh's face.

 Raleigh flinched away on impulse. Chuck scowled.

 "See? Pathetic. Where do you get off worrying about me when you can't even touch someone?"

  He stepped forward, "If you think helping me will make you any less of a fuck-up you're wrong."

 Raleigh glared, "I don't think anyone can help you, Hansen. I pity you. The things I've seen in your head- touching you once is enough for a lifetime, thanks."

 "Oh, so you prefer more in control Sentinels like Mako?"

 Raleigh tensed. "Keep her out of this."

 Chuck smiled, but there was no kindness in it.

 "Why don't you go run back to your girlfriend, Becket." He shoved past.

 "You know what, fuck you." Raleigh cursed, turning to watch him walk away, "No wonder your own father can't stand you. It's a wonder you can even stand yourself. Oh wait-" He feigned thinking, mimicing Chuck's cruel smile, "You can't."

 Chuck froze, body going rigid.

 Raleigh had pinched a nerve, he knew. But he forced himself to walk away, and to not look back.

~

 

 "Raleigh!" Mako appeared in front of him, causing him to stumble backwards.

 Damn Sentinel speed.

 "Hey what's..." He trailed off, sensing the excitement in her, stronger than anything he'd ever felt from her.

 "What? What is it?"

 Mako grinned at him, "We're going to Drift!"

_'We're...Going...To...'_

 "..What?"

 "The Marshal told me this morning!" She continued, unaware of Raleigh's internal terror, "He said that we should be ready for a test run tomorrow afternoon."

 "We're not ready." Mako froze, smile dropping. Had he said that aloud? Raleigh really hadn't meant to say that aloud.

 "What?"

 Raleigh closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

 "Mako- Drifting is serious, we'll be at serious risk-"

 "I'm not afraid." Mako said sharply, body tense.

 Raleigh softened, "Of course you're not, but-"

 "You are."

 Raleigh blinked.

 "Me?" 

 "You are afraid." She continued, "You're afraid to Drift just like you're afraid to touch."

 Raleigh's mouth closed.

 "You are a coward."

 He felt like he'd been slapped.

 _'What's he gonna do about it? He's no fighter.'_ Chuck's voice echoed, _' He's a coward.'_

  He knew Mako was waiting for some kind of response, but words wouldn't come.

 She looked away from him, clearly disappointed.

 And then she disappeared, off down the hallway.

 Raleigh felt awful. He'd hurt Chuck, and now he'd hurt Mako. What kind of Guide was he?

 _'A scared one...'_ His mind supplied.

 Mako was right. Chuck was right. They both were.

 _'What am I scared of?'_  

 To connect. To feel someone as deeply as he felt Yancy. To lose someone. To fail them.

 Raleigh scrubbed at his face.

 He'd have to go make up with Mako. Taking these emotions into the Drift would destroy them both...

 

~

  

 Finding her wasn't easy.

 Apparently Mako didn't like people witnessing her rare moments of weakness.

 Eventually Raleigh managed to track her down to an empty stairwell. It was one of the many that led up to the higher parts of the hanger, with no walls around it so you could clearly see the Jaegars being worked on.

 Taking the seat beside her, Raleigh took a deep breath.

 Then he held out his hand.

 Mako stared at it, obviously caught off guard. Then, making deliberate eye contact, she took it.

 Raleigh's head swam. He felt fierce determination, mixed with the tiniest trace of anger. And calm. He felt lots of calm.

 He exhaled.

 Connecting with Mako's mind was different from Chuck's. With Mako it felt more like she was the one guiding him down, showing him control.

 He felt the warmth of her happiness and smiled. And just like that, something slotted into place.

 "It's amazing."

 She let him go.

 "The Marshal taught me how to control my senses. He trained me."

 "You care about him."

 She nodded, "He's my father."

 Raleigh decided to revisit that shocking information later, "How did he know how to control his senses that good? He's a Sentinel."

 "His Guide died." Mako murmured, eyes distant.

 Raleigh went silent. Most Sentinels would go mad after losing their Guide.

 "He learned to use what she taught him without her."

 "Kaiju attack?"

 "Cancer." Mako smiled sadly, "They didn't think about radiation shielding at the beginning of the war."

 "That's terrible."

 And he thought losing Yancy was hard...

 "We can do this, Raleigh."

 He looked at Mako, her eyes fierce with determination.

 "I know we can."

 They exchanged smiles, watching as Gipsy Danger was prepped for tomorrow's Drift.

 

~~

 

 The drivesuit felt tighter than he remembered.

 "I think I got fat." Raleigh joked to Tendo, who was wishing him luck.

 The Guide laughed, giving him an appraising look. "Little bit. Must have been all that Wall food."

 He winked, giving Raleigh's shoulder a pat, "You got this, Raleigh. Don't think too much about it."

 Having Tendo's voice in his ear would be a comfort, no doubt, but all jokes aside Raleigh was nervous. Really nervous.

 Even after Tendo left to go to the control room, he lingered outside the connpod, shoulders tense.

 A hand took his. Calm washed over him in a blissful way.

 Mako smiled and together they walked in.

 

 Tendo had not been lying.

 Gipsy looked just as she did before. Every nut and bolt, ever wire- The same.

 Raleigh let go of Mako's hand, walking absently to the right side, where Yancy would have been.

 Tenderly, he touched the harness that would connect pilot to Jaegar. Pilot to pilot.

 "If you don't mind I'll take the right side." He said, flashing Mako a smile, "My left arms kind of shot."

 She nodded, and he could feel her stronger than ever before. No hint of fear whatsoever.

 "Not a problem."

 Engineers entered, assisting them in getting hooked up.

 Raleigh breathed in through his mouth, out through his nose. This was it. Showtime.

 "Oookay, Gipsy!" Tendo's voice sang in his ear, "Ready to go?"

 Mako nodded at him. Raleigh pressed the mic, "Ready."

  _'It's gonna be fine.'_ He told himself, _'Just like riding a bike.'_

 But in this case this bicycle was really big, and doing something wrong could mean somebody's life.

 Shit.

 "Alrighty. Systems on line."

 Raleigh focused on Tendo's voice, cheerful in a familiar way.

 ' _How'd your date with Allison go?'_

_**'Focus.'** _

 "Ready to initiate Neural Bridge."

 Mako shifted.

 "One."

 "Remember." Raleigh called over,

 "Two."

 "Don't chase the R.A.B.I.T."

 "Three."

 "Grant them access."

 "Four."

 "Just let them flow."

 "Five."

 "Don't latch on."

 "Six."

 "Just stay in the Drift."

 "Seven"

 "The Drift is silence."

 "Eight."

  Mako nodded.

 "Nine."

 Raleigh closed his eyes.

 "Ten."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Marshal is disappointed, Raleigh is feeling guilty as usual, and Chuck is acting weird...Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD.  
> I got something posted, it's a miracle. 
> 
> Sorry guys, but shit happens, and typing up this stuff takes time that I do not have. 
> 
> If anyone's still left reading this, thank you for all the support and comments. You guys are real troopers xo

  _'Raleigh listen to me-'_

_'Yancy!'_

_'_ _**NO**_ _'_

 "Gipsy you're out of alignment."

 Raleigh shook, trying to focus on his voice, on the moment. He felt his memories pressing in, threatening to surge, but he resisted.

 "I've got it." He insisted, straining, "Just let me control it."

 He took a deep breath, forced his eyes open. He could do this, he knew he could. Determined, he exhaled.

  _'Yancy is gone. He's not here. It's just a memory.'_

 And just like that, he let the memory slide by. All he had to do was let it go.

 "Okay Raleigh you're stabilizing, but Mako's way out." Tendo stated, voice edgy.

 Raleigh tensed, glancing over, "Mako?"

 She couldn't seem to hear him. "Mako listen to me. Don't get stuck. Just let it go."

 He could feel her slipping. Desperate, he tried to stretch out his calm, but he couldn't find any.

 

~

 

 The feeling of being disconnected from the Drift so suddenly disoriented him. He could hear Gipsy let out a sigh, her cannon currently pointed at the control center dying down.

  _'The powers been cut...'_   He thought absently.

  _' **Mako.** '_

Remembering his partner Raleigh jerked his head around. She appeared to be slumped over, body heaving. For once Raleigh felt chaos radiating off the Sentinel. Pure, complete chaos.

 The door to the connpod burst open- literally burst. It seemed lucky it hadn't flown off its hinges as hard as Marshal Pentecost had forced it open. He was at Mako's side in an instant, all Sentinel speed and fury, taking off her helmet and throwing it carelessly aside.

 The girl let out a faint whimper.

 More people followed, all rushing to assist the distracted Sentinel in disengaging his daughter from the harness. Faintly, Raleigh recognized Tendo and Herc among the many faces.

 Mako was crying out empathetically, the power of the Drift having forced her into a zone, and the Marshal was equally crying out, in fury and worry. Raleigh couldn't help but feel how outraged his Sentinel side was at having his daughter harmed.

 Between the two of them Raleigh felt ready to pass out.

 Clumsy hands made to disengage himself, but his movements were sluggish and uncoordinated which made it nearly impossible.

 Another set of hands grabbed his, stopping him.

 Raleigh blinked dumbly. He felt a Sentinel's mind in his own, washing out the others, but it didn't hurt. He felt worry, and a great deal of seriousness, but no pain.

 Once more he tried to disengage himself, but the firm hands simply stopped him again, a callus thumb caressing the back of his hand.

 "Stop it."

 "Chuck." Raleigh muttered, "I have too..."

 "Stay still." Chuck ordered, voice containing much more patience than Raleigh was used to hearing from him. Raleigh attempted disobeying, but he was tired, and staying still was the most appealing option.

 "Mako...All my fault..."

 "You can't do anything about that right now." Chuck pointed out, and Raleigh felt him take off his helmet.

 How long had he been closing his eyes? He forced them open now, staring into Chuck's face, which was very close.

 Chuck held his face, which felt very nice, channeling his focus.

 "I should help..."

 Raleigh frowned. He tried to feel for Mako, but Chuck stubbornly kept his attention on him. "Stop that."

 Chuck ignored him. Naturally. "Why don't you worry about yourself for once, huh? Come on."

 He got Raleigh out of his harness, wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him upright. Which was really good because Raleigh found standing very difficult at the moment.

 "Smart." Raleigh muttered, face pressing into the Sentinel's neck. A hand carded through his hair.

 "Let's get you out of here."

 Raleigh allowed Chuck to lead him away, supported by the Sentinel's strength.

 

~

 

 Raleigh jerked awake, disoriented. He blinked a few times, hands clutching and finding blankets.

 "Mako- ?" He called, attempting to get on his feet.

 Hands stopped him, grabbing firmly at his shoulders. "Whoa, whoa Raleigh."

 "It's okay Chuck." More hands. Softer, less demanding hands eased him back down against the mattress. Raleigh immediately felt a soothing presence pulling him back towards unconsciousness.

  _'Chuck...?'_

 "M-Mako?" Raleigh tried again, grasping at the patient hands.

 "Take it easy." Tendo's voice said. Tendo. Raleigh blinked up at him.

 "It was all my fault." Raleigh tried, knowing this was important, "I went out of alignment first."

 Tendo frowned and a warm hand touched lightly at his cheek.

 "Shh." A familiar voice murmured, "Go back to sleep."

 "Chuck?" Raleigh sighed, feeling Tendo's influence, causing his eyelids to droop.

 "I'm here. Sleep."

 Trusting the Sentinel, Raleigh did.

 

 

 ~

 

 The next time he woke up Tendo was not there, and neither was Chuck.

 Raleigh sat up, fighting a sudden wave of nausea. Once it had passed, he carefully stood.

 His legs felt clumsy and unused, but thankfully Raleigh found that he had been in his own room rather than the med bay. A chair had been placed by the side of his bed. Raleigh shifted at the thought of who might have been sitting there.

 His memories of the last time he had been awake were disjointed and confusing, muddled from sleep. He knew Tendo had been there, which made sense, but he also distinctly remembered Chuck also being present.  

 For the life of him he didn't know _why_ Hansen would bother hovering around his bedside. It seemed more likely that it was some weird, uncomfortable fever dream of sorts. Although the idea that he was having fever dreams about Chuck Hansen made Raleigh flush in embarrassment.

 But maybe it was because Chuck was the last person he had seen before falling asleep. Raleigh was certain of that.

 Well, if the Sentinel was willing to help him out of Gipsy's connpod and to his room, maybe sitting with him wasn't such a far stretch...

  _'Gipsy...'_

Once Raleigh felt confident enough in his ability to walk, he dared to venture out of his room, destination in mind.

 Chuck could wait. First, he needed to explain to the Marshal.

 

~

 

 But someone was already talking with him, and loudly, seeing as Raleigh could hear them through the heavy door.

 "Raleigh."

 He spun, taking in the sight of his copilot. Mako looked good, better than she had after the Drift. Her face had regained its color and she seemed to be back in control of her senses, though Raleigh felt that they were still unstable.

 He pulled her into a hug.

 "I'm sorry."

 Mako shook her head, "There is no need to apologize."

 Raleigh pulled back, flashing a smile. "Next time we'll get it."

 Mako returned his smile, and Raleigh felt better, seeing her smile again. "Next time."

 A crash came from inside the office. Both Sentinel and Guide jumped. Mako's eyes narrowed.

 "He's being a problem."

 Raleigh blinked, "Who?"

 Vaguely he could sense at least two Sentinel's in the room, both angry. He had a hard time focusing on the second one when the first's anger was so clear, practically calling out to him.

 "They're a danger to themselves and everyone they're supposed to protect!" A voice yelled.

 Mako tensed. Raleigh could feel her becoming testy.

 The door to the office slammed open, and Mako pulled him back before he got hit by it. A very familiar Sentinel followed after, being forcibly shoved, it seemed.

 Raleigh watched as Herc attempted to restrain his son.

 "They're going to get themselves killed!" Chuck yelled, fighting to get out of his father's grip.

 But Herc was using his empathy to slow him down, stubbornly holding on.

 "You need to calm down." He hissed, tugging Chuck away from the office.

 Mako stepped forward to intervene but Raleigh stopped her. From the looks of it, Chuck had trashed the Marshal's office. 

 Raleigh took Mako's hand, calming her. He watched as Chuck finally stopped trying to get back in the office, allowing his father to shepherd him away. His eyes landed on Mako and Raleigh. Raleigh felt the strangest impulse to help him.

 He let go of Mako's hand.

 Chuck's eyes lingered on them for a moment before he let out a snarl, turning and storming off. Raleigh twitched.

 Mako disappeared into the office. Eventually, he followed after.

 

 Pentecost sat at his desk, bristled, but otherwise unaffected. He and Mako were having an exchange in rapid Japanese. From the little Japanese Raleigh knew, it wasn't good.

 He cleared his throat.

 "Hansen has a point." Pentecost finally said after a moment of meaningful eye contact with Mako.

 "Marshal-"

 "You and Mako are a danger to yourselves."

 Mako shook her head stubbornly, "We can do this-"

 "You can't." The Marshal said sharply. His voice cut through their protests.

 He shook his head, and Raleigh noticed for the first time just how tired the Sentinel looked.

 "I should have known better. You are too inexperienced." He said, looking at Mako.

 "And you are too unstable." He said to Raleigh, "It was a recipe for disaster."

 Mako tensed, obviously furious.

  _'She could do it.'_ Raleigh thought _'She just needs a chance.'_

 

 A chance he took away.

 

 "Dismissed." Marshal Pentecost said, his voice leaving no room for opposition.

 


End file.
